i_want2_be_free (i_want2_be_free) wrote in fivefootthree,
i_want2_be_free
i_want2_be_free
fivefootthree

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I'm back:P

Um........I recently realized that ana was my personal demon.....she made me hate myself...she made me sick.....she made me depressed...but she also made me happii....how weird?
I tried to recover.... I really did......
But I can't do it..................I love being empty.... I don't care if that sounds sick........
And this isn't about being thin.
It's control..........control. control...........so what...maybe ana did start having control over me...but idgaf..........Im in control over the food.
While everything in life spirals around... I need something steady. somthing that is always there to comfort me......
Ugh. This is so messed up. But why don't I care?
Ana has been there in my life for five years........
I wish, honestly....that I could just forget about her and lead a "healthy" life.....but ahhh. My definition of healthy has been twisted and it's not the same as everyone else's. Im going to the doctor on monday about my bipolar disorder...maybe meds will help? :/
I'll keep everyone updated.
I hope everyone is doing great!! Message me if you have anything you wanna talk about!!!!(:
<3
Lolo
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